Renewal
God thank you for all you have done for me
I love all that You have restored unto me
I am blessed to be loved by You
I have faith oh Lord
Thank You
Amen

I have a renewed spirit
God is working in me
I am happy
I am blessed
I am loved
Its so awesome
Thank You God
Thank You for all You are doing
I am grateful
Lord Thank YOU
I can feel the renewal and restoration
All things are possible with God

Restoration
Today i felt really low found myself thinking how much i miss you.
Then i listened to the radio the songs on hope fm calmed me
then allie called and i felt peace
My heart the voice inside me says dont lose hope
God will restore, renew and reconcile
Im looking towards that now
God is restoring us right now
I know it
Renewal shall follow
Then reconciliation
Call me crazy but I shall say it loud and clear
I WILL BELIEVE THE REPORT OF OF MY LORD
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes He is working and we shall be restored

STARS
I stand underneath a starry sky,
Mesmerized by the sight above me,
The night sky is so clear tonight,
The stars are shining in their full glory.

Stars, gentle reminders of God's love for me,
The situation may seem dismal,
But tiny pockets of hope always burst through in form of stars

SURRENDER
Oh sweet surrender!
Thats all I feel
The rain has come
Relief at last I am free
The cool breeze breathes life into me
My dying soul drinks in the rainwater
I was once like the dry desert sand
But now I am a damp rainforest floor
Freedom comes through the mere patter of raindrops
Pitter patter I am alive.
Free and alive in the rain

UNTITLED
Loud music blasts between my ears
In the hope thst the noise shall silence the voice of turmoil,
This isbut futile as its has to be heard,
My struggle for sanity and balance continues

Why does this never end?
When I thought I was past this
It comes back to haunt me
Like a zit that comes to the same spot

All the remedies I tried only temporary,
I seek a permanent solution,
My search fruitless thus far,
Hope of success diminishing
Like the rays of the setting sun

Sad, isnt but thats reality,
Awake from your slumber,
Fantasy can only take you so far
Like a drug one high and youre hooked

Is there a rehab for this addiction?
Can anyone enrol me int he school of reality,
I need a booster shot of reality,
I need to leave the Egypt of fantasia
To arrive at the Canaan of reality

COMPLEXITY
Thoughts criss-crossing in my head,
Confusing, consuming leaving me frustrated,
Life has suddenly become complex
Simplicity is alas a thing of the past.
A time long forgotten, yet yearned for.

How did I get here?
I know not nor do I remember,
The paths that led me here
All these questions and doubts
None of which are answered

A gentle breeze wafts in,
Soft music fills the air
Peace slowly enters my soul
Tranquility reigns supreme
Clarity is restored

Simplicity is in my hands
I have the power
I had it all along
Only I had forgotten so.

PERCEPTIONS
Perceptions are alot like rose bushes
We ignore the thorns and focus on the bloomed roses,
Forgetting that each rose starts life as a thorn
Time determines when the rose will burst forth
Be patient with the thorns in your life the are roses in waiting
Time will tell when they will bloom.

how did we get here
Where we inflict pain to each other
to the person we swore to protect
when did we descend into this vicious cycle
this cycle that starts with us locked in an embrace only to pull away from each other
Im confused how did i turn into this monster who inflicts pain
Who tears one down rather than build them up
Who is a source of negativity than positivity

I need to change before i destroy you.

REALITY
Asleep for far too long
Hidden in a fantasy world
Where everyone has a happy ending
And only good people dwell
And noble intentions reign supreme

Alas we all know we must awaken
My dream is over
Reality is upon me
Its touch cold
Its blade pierces deep
Stripping me of my dreams
Reality i am awake

Give yourself over. Immerse yourself deeper.
Fall into the bottomless pit.
Let go.
Give in.
Allow whats within.
To consume to control.
Allow yourself.
To just be.

Tears stream down my face. The pain that my heart feels is so great. I feel like a bird who seeing her masters desire pierces her heart on a thorn to make a rose bush blossom just so he could have a red rose. Yet he never sees the sacrifice and my dead body is thrown on to a garbage heap. My sacrifice in vain.
I feel that way right now. My heart pierced by a thorn and the thorn will not be removed. So i must learn to live with this pain to soldier on. As my mum would say suck it in youre weak. Stop your crying. You silly girl where will your tears take you. But then no matter how hard i try my heart is bleeding and so my tears cant stop.

So i take a step
To begin my journey of a thousand miles
I know not what awaits me
I know not where this path leads
May God guide my steps and light my path
May i surrender to His will as i embark on this journey
I am your apt pupil oh Lord
Lead and I will follow

I AM ME
I am me
Beautiful yet ugly
I am me
Complicated yet simple
I am me
Good yet evil
I am me
Strange yet normal
I am me
That is all i need to know
That i am me

I never thought i could feel such love
Never imagined id meet someone as wonderful as you
You came into my life and filled it with joy
You make each sunrise more wonderful
Each sunset and star filled sky more beautiful

I am so happy i found you
Happy God heard my prayer
He brought you into my life
I cant wait to start this new chapter with

As this life grows inside me it draws me closer
Makes our bond stronger
A manifestation of our love
Im so happy you gave me this gift

Thank you love

What is love?
Is it an emotion
A state of being
What is it?

Is it a pit or hole
For ive heard people say
I have fallen in love
Fallen?

Is love special?
Is it eternal?
If it is
Why do we wake up one day and say
I dont love you anymore

A few lines.........
Snippets for you to mull over
Then decide what love is
To you

FRAGILE
I am sitting all alone
Deep in thought,
Wish everything around me could stand still
I just need it to stop just for a little while
My mind is spinning
My heart is aching
My soul is struggling to breathe

I am gasping
Cant anyone see me
Hey you cant you see me
I am here
Please oh please
Dont walk away
Sit with me for a little while

I need a touch
Even if you just brush against me
I feel so alone
Alas its of no use
They all walk past me
Will you do the same

I bury my head again
It matters not if they cant see me
Im tired........
Tired of crying out for help
I have surrendered
Let it come

Whatever it is
If it knocks me down
Let it
Im as fragile as a stalk of wheat in a field
As the wind blows strongly by

lonely cold night sitting up at my computer, tonnes of overdue reports and assingment are in a pile next to me. Im feel like im stuck at a train station and theres all this activity around me but im least bothered. Life is going on without me and i sit here wondering which train to take. Should be more impulsive or should i just sit here and make a more practica and well thought out choice. Well for now its midnight and i think ill remain in the train station pondering over my choice cos i feel too finished to do anything else

today is just a crazy day fr me i feel so negelected and used by the people around me nt sure wat to do anymore and im trying to keep it all in but bilas its jsut a rotten day

This one is a little different from ma poems its wat i like to call a ranting.
Last night i had an epiphany so to speak. Earlier that day one of ma lecturers had been talking but the need to practice certain procedures such as FNA biopsy i had seen a couple and went like man if fxing an IV line was tuff how will i pull that off. Anyhoo i was making supper that night and as i was making the ugali(all kenyans will understand) i remember how as i was learnig i always made bad ugali too soft not ready or too hard but nowadays ma mum never complains so just an encouraging word to all ma pips out there strugglin to get by and get a handle if you are learning youll make some mistakes but giving up aint an option keep at it hey if you dont believe try ma ugali its awesome. So will be ma skills at FNA biopsy etc