Well today was visit number three to the dentist and guys i have finally got my tooth fixed. Finally i got my smile back.
I broke my tooth at the age of ten.
I had to go thru puberty nd most of my early adult life with a broken incisor.
It was hard at first but i must say i built my self confidence
It was a tedious experience but im happy with the result.
I see the correlation with life, i went through a rough time this year
However God has brought me through.
Im so excited surrendering one's will to God
IS AMAZING
Pics of my new smile coming soon.
Happy birthday DAD
5+9 = 14
My family rocks

Today i'm so happy i woke up so happy
Thank you God
I'm getting better with every day
I am no longer wallowing
I no longer worry about how
I am happy
i know God is at work
I am still in my garden
The rain has been great for it
I can see fresh sprouts
The roses look so beautiful
I am so happy
The door remains open
God says focus on the garden
I shall return him to you.
Just focus on the garden

Well today is a great day, i learnt a valuable lesson.
Today was my second visit to the dentist
I had scaling done it was painful but at the end i felt so awesome
I realised God is teaching me a lesson
I asked Him to heal me and thought it would only be as per my relationship status
However He showed me the mistakes i made is teaching me grace and forgiveness and patience
Then I realised the changes He will make will be painful but all for my good
Im excited im learning not to wallow in despair
And im attracting alot i got free meds, a cool pen torch and a belt
Then i left fr work jana saying i need to get my folks cold meds and i end up getting free samples.
Law of attraction.
Im so happy i have cried my last tear and i awake to joy
Im so blessed thank You God
Its also my 5yr anniversary with Samuel today Happy Anniversary Sam

WOW im so excited bubbling over kinda reminds me of the song nabubujika nabubujika nabubujika moyoni na ninaimba ninaimba moyoni katika jina la yesu nimekombolewa nabubujika bubujika bubujika moyoni. Thank dear Lord for giving such joy for filling me with love im so happy and i know its because You placed that joy in me. Elevating me to a high frequency where the negativity of others shall never touch me.So todays message is simple i was on pauolo coelho's blog and i got this awesome message that is noe my laptop screensaver. WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING ALL THE UNIVERSE CONSPIRES IN HELPING YOU ACHIEVE IT.
Oh and to my audience i would like to send a hello to eric welcome to my world one quote will answer the questions that you have. I am different for i have always been me.

So its my first weekend off and im loving it. Its been relaxed and refreshing im so excited. As for today i learned an important lesson. Let me start from the beginning, last night i had tro explain to a close friend of mine that im taking a step back from all my friends in light of my parasuicide, and events leading to it. I feel like my friends want me to get better at their own pace and i realised i need to do things at my own pace and in my own way. The comments of you shouldnt be here or you dodged a bullet or u need to stop being bitter. Reaches a point i wanna scream AARGH JUST SHUT UP! I will get better, i am not bitter and i still love samuel so flipping deal with it. I have good days and i have bad days, i dont wanna have to explain why.
Anyway so it kept me up but in the morning clarity came I said i needed to uproot weeds and trim hedges it will hurt but in the end my garden will look better. I went to the dentist to get my tooth fixed, first i learnt patience as i had to wait to get seen. Then i needed to get xrays done to reveal the extent of the damage, i had fractured my tooth upto to the root wow but it had healed thank God. And i have hope i need like two more visits then i get it all sorted out. Yipee
In light of this i can allude it to my finances and career and engagement i need patience and persistence as i work on getting things fixed some cleaning will be done and then some things will be replaced and time to heal. Thank You God for this important lesson. I am truly blessed that You teach me everyday

Its been a while since I blogged lol. IM enjoying my first weekend off in 6wks its so exhilarating though i missed a dentist's appointment. But all is not lost I rebooked for kesho. I am taking God's advice to focus on becoming a better me and letting Him work on me and return the love of my life back to me. All I need to do is keep my faith and let God do the rest in His time He will make things right.
Gratitude is a powerful thing i remained grateful for my days, one of the receptionists complimented me that i am a great worker and i clear queues. Up side even my patients love me its so awesome im over the moon its delightful.
I am getting better day by day, the law of attraction is a powerful thing. God today my prayer request is that i never forget that You have me in the palm of Your hands and You are carrying me through. Thank You God and theres is nothing You cant do O lord my eyes are on You. Amen

SMALL VICTORIES
I realised that people both knowingly and unknowingly tend to try to make our victories insignificant
They make comments tear into our soul and make us doubt ourselves
I have seen this recently among people i once considered friends
This poison destroyed my soul and would take me ten steps back
But i am wiser now, i am stronger now,
I tell those words to return from whence they came
I pull out the poison darts and suck out the poison and spit it out
I uproot the seeds of despair
I am victorious
I have triumphed
I am a winner
I shall not be put down.
This is my declaration of VICTORY

SECRET GARDEN
I am back in my garden God has led me back to it. Its my sanctuary
Where he helps me as we tend the flowers
i had forgotten about it let the world entice me and lead me away from it
But Great news im back in my garden
With God we have been uprooting the weeds of despair, jealousy, self hatred, fear and anger
Planting the roses of love, generosity, self love,courage, joy in others achievements and happiness
The winter has faded and spring has returned
The birds are back singing and chirping away
I spend my days tending this flowers as God shows me how to keep the healthy
Occasionally a weed may sprout up but God shows that all i need to do is uproot it from the roots.
The fairies dance every night under the dandelions
The sparrows sing by the rose bushes
Im usually found dancing in the grass especially after the morning's dew
When it rains i run and scream with the pixies as the raindrops wash us clean
This is where I am meant to be
This is where God needs me to be
This is where you will find me
The key is and always will be in your hand
The door is unlatched
Our favorite spot by the roses is still there waiting.
God tells to be still and wait on Him
In His perfect time
The door shall creak open and I shall run with open arms
The garden awaits
I will always be there tending to it

Hey its been a while since i blogged wow like a whole five days unacceptable.
This is my online journal of my recovery and renewal. I should call them my butterfly diaries, that would absolutely rock. I am now in a cocoon, fighting my inner demons and shall be triumphant. I have realised that no one will truly understand the path that i am taking and it doesnt matter if they do. All i know is that its the path for me. Thats all that counts. Kudos to my friend vikki who told me you will work this out in your own way and in your own time and God in His perfect time will make things right.