YEAR'S END
Well 2011 is at an end and its with bated breath that i await 2012.
2011 was one tumultuous year and I'm glad to put it behind me
As i take stock of all the year's events i am grateful for every tear and every smile God brought my way.
I choose mot to take my failures to heart i instead use them as lessons
I choose to rejoice in my successes not matter how small
I am glad that i am not the same person who began this year and every person should be grateful for that
2012 here i come operation code name JOSEPHINE is in full effect.
Awaiting the new travels that I shall embark on
Excited about my impending departure to study
Thrilled by the knowledge that world has just begun for me
Leaving all the old vestiges of my old life that weighed me down and pressing on to the person i am meant to be.
HAPPY 2012 ALLIE LETS ROCK IT THE WAY WE BFF'S KNOW HOW.
2012V IS OUR TIME AND OUR YEAR
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
ORION IS BACK
Its december and the night sky is illuminated with stars constant reminders of God's love for us
Well my favorite constellation is back and its awesome
Ive missed it so caught a glimpse of it shortly
Twas divine
How ive missed it.
Loved every minute of it
Thank You God Im learning to be grateful for the little moments of joy and peace you bring into my life
Its december and the night sky is illuminated with stars constant reminders of God's love for us
Well my favorite constellation is back and its awesome
Ive missed it so caught a glimpse of it shortly
Twas divine
How ive missed it.
Loved every minute of it
Thank You God Im learning to be grateful for the little moments of joy and peace you bring into my life
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Today was my day off and i really needed it. Had a long crazy day at work with patients etc. Now im rejuvenated. My goal these days is to have a new exoerience everyday.
Well todays new experience was learning how to send cash via western union.
Some might say uve never done that and start laughing well tough i learnt something new and you cant take that joy away. Doing a dance.
Im also learning to detox my life and learn to love myself to be comfortable in my skin
It is exhilarating i feel alive and renewed everyday i learn something new about myself.
I look at the mirror and love what i see no more self pity or self hatred
I purpose to love all i see. I love my life i love me i am perfect cos God says i am
I am a beautiful confident intelligent witty charming generous kind person and an old soul and im so happy to be me.
Well todays new experience was learning how to send cash via western union.
Some might say uve never done that and start laughing well tough i learnt something new and you cant take that joy away. Doing a dance.
Im also learning to detox my life and learn to love myself to be comfortable in my skin
It is exhilarating i feel alive and renewed everyday i learn something new about myself.
I look at the mirror and love what i see no more self pity or self hatred
I purpose to love all i see. I love my life i love me i am perfect cos God says i am
I am a beautiful confident intelligent witty charming generous kind person and an old soul and im so happy to be me.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
GRATITUDE
Today I am grateful earlier this morning i had a heart to heart with my best friend
It was so amazing i just let go and told her everything
Held nothing back and God she got it it was like amen finally
I have someone who understands just like God does
Twas so amazing i couldnt believe it.
Thank You Lord.
Thank You for allie that she doesnt think im crazy or bitter or need tough love
Thank You that we can pray together
Thank You that shes always on the other end
Thank You that through all these years our friendship has remained strong
Thank You
God bless you allie i dedicate this post to you
Today I am grateful earlier this morning i had a heart to heart with my best friend
It was so amazing i just let go and told her everything
Held nothing back and God she got it it was like amen finally
I have someone who understands just like God does
Twas so amazing i couldnt believe it.
Thank You Lord.
Thank You for allie that she doesnt think im crazy or bitter or need tough love
Thank You that we can pray together
Thank You that shes always on the other end
Thank You that through all these years our friendship has remained strong
Thank You
God bless you allie i dedicate this post to you
Saturday, December 10, 2011
WAITING ROOMS
Well 2 weeks ago i went to my dentist and i was a tad late for my appointment however i got there only to find him busy with another patient.
Well i ended up waiting for an hour i fidgetted, googled checked my mail, read my copy of the secret then a voice inside me told me be still n just wait.
So i realised we find ourselves at points in our lives when we expect something, but it doesnt come immediately we have to wait in waiting bays and office receptions of life.
We fidget get uncomfortable even irritable yet it ends up being for nought.
Well i got in to see my dentist and it was worth the wait he had been preparing the materials he needed to fill my tooth and trust me i was one happy patient with a killer smile to boot.
God keeps us in waiting rooms not to punish but to teach us patience.
As He works diligently in His office preparing the things necessary to give us that killer smile again.
No matter where you are right now remember something greater is round the corner.
Im waiting upon the Lord He has renewed so much for me already and restored me and He still is.
Well 2 weeks ago i went to my dentist and i was a tad late for my appointment however i got there only to find him busy with another patient.
Well i ended up waiting for an hour i fidgetted, googled checked my mail, read my copy of the secret then a voice inside me told me be still n just wait.
So i realised we find ourselves at points in our lives when we expect something, but it doesnt come immediately we have to wait in waiting bays and office receptions of life.
We fidget get uncomfortable even irritable yet it ends up being for nought.
Well i got in to see my dentist and it was worth the wait he had been preparing the materials he needed to fill my tooth and trust me i was one happy patient with a killer smile to boot.
God keeps us in waiting rooms not to punish but to teach us patience.
As He works diligently in His office preparing the things necessary to give us that killer smile again.
No matter where you are right now remember something greater is round the corner.
Im waiting upon the Lord He has renewed so much for me already and restored me and He still is.
DEPRESSION
Today i want to talk about depression.
I was a sufferer of it i never realised it until it was too late and i resorted to suicide to dull the pain.
The funny thing is how it slowly creeps up on you
My battle began in medical school i felt out of place always had as a child.
In primary school i was the top of my class but socially awkward, alot of the "cool" kids would put me down one guy actually called me annoying for always taking top position.
In high school i wasnt cool enough cos i never listened to rick dees or knew sheng and it really took its toll on me.
Then after high school i was too loud too boisterous and free spirited its like i never caught a break.
Med school i never hit it off with the govt sponsored students cos i never followed them like sheep.
I had problems with my self esteem always thought i wasnt pretty enough cool enough mature enough and it took its toll
I would feel insecure about alot whenever id see someone who i thought was better than i.
I would allow myself to be mediocre looking back i would do the bare minimum so that i just make it even though i had the ability to do more
I would allow people to put me down with their comments and even actions and hide away in a corner and hate myself more
Well this spiralled out of control in the friendships i made i would sacrifice so much till nothing was left. I would listen to other people as per my relationship and would blame myself when things went wrong
I was always trying to placate others, always there for others, always trying to find acceptance now i know different.
I am free im comfortable in my own skin
I look in the mirror and i love what i see
I am gaining confidence in who i am
I give no one the power to take away my joy
I am successful and brilliant
Always have been to my detractors shove it
You fear what you dont undestand, you crave the freedom i enjoy
You wish you had what i have inside of me.
Sorry there is just one me and im fabulous and a freaking FORCE OF NATURE
Watch this space stay tuned for i know you all wish you could say something.
I dont respond as you do and i am so glad i dont.
I love me
i love all of me
Nothing will change that
I have wrested control of my joy from the hands of others and placed it in God's hands and His message is Love thyself as I love you.
Today i want to talk about depression.
I was a sufferer of it i never realised it until it was too late and i resorted to suicide to dull the pain.
The funny thing is how it slowly creeps up on you
My battle began in medical school i felt out of place always had as a child.
In primary school i was the top of my class but socially awkward, alot of the "cool" kids would put me down one guy actually called me annoying for always taking top position.
In high school i wasnt cool enough cos i never listened to rick dees or knew sheng and it really took its toll on me.
Then after high school i was too loud too boisterous and free spirited its like i never caught a break.
Med school i never hit it off with the govt sponsored students cos i never followed them like sheep.
I had problems with my self esteem always thought i wasnt pretty enough cool enough mature enough and it took its toll
I would feel insecure about alot whenever id see someone who i thought was better than i.
I would allow myself to be mediocre looking back i would do the bare minimum so that i just make it even though i had the ability to do more
I would allow people to put me down with their comments and even actions and hide away in a corner and hate myself more
Well this spiralled out of control in the friendships i made i would sacrifice so much till nothing was left. I would listen to other people as per my relationship and would blame myself when things went wrong
I was always trying to placate others, always there for others, always trying to find acceptance now i know different.
I am free im comfortable in my own skin
I look in the mirror and i love what i see
I am gaining confidence in who i am
I give no one the power to take away my joy
I am successful and brilliant
Always have been to my detractors shove it
You fear what you dont undestand, you crave the freedom i enjoy
You wish you had what i have inside of me.
Sorry there is just one me and im fabulous and a freaking FORCE OF NATURE
Watch this space stay tuned for i know you all wish you could say something.
I dont respond as you do and i am so glad i dont.
I love me
i love all of me
Nothing will change that
I have wrested control of my joy from the hands of others and placed it in God's hands and His message is Love thyself as I love you.
Friday, December 09, 2011
IT IS WELL
The sun is shining the birds are singing
The sky is blue and a gentle breeze wafts into my room
My soul is alive filled with joy and peace
These past two days i came to realise that its hard for people to empathise
No one can truly know the depth of your despair
Or how deep the wounds of the heart are
As my sister Dorothy told the wounds of the heart are different
To each their own but with God's help they heal
This is a post to my friends those who think that I'm not moving on
Moving on to you might mean no longer having low days
might mean dating other people as one of you put it I found a new guy for you to move on with.
I AM FINE
I am moving on in MY OWN WAY you might not understand it but i have stopped caring if anyone other than God and I understand
I no longer cry myself to sleep, true i have bad days but they last for a night
I am working, sending my post grad applications, spending alot of me time
Call me selfish but for the first time in a long while I'm putting me first
Im doing whats best for me and me alone and its working
I have always been there for people gone the extra mile, persevered in friendships
Said yes to you all even at the expense of my own happiness
I hit rock bottom and no one of you realised till it was too late
I forgive you all however i will not be pressured to do things your way
If you feel guilty that you never realised it sooner then that's fine Ive made my peace
I will no longer placate, or give long explanations for my decisions for they are mine
I have always respected your decisions even though i may not have always agreed with them.
Right now its Josephine time, time to be true to myself to my inner voice to chart my own path
This gives such overwhelming peace and joy
I am saying goodbye to some of you because despite my constant explanations you still fail to hear my plea.
IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL IT IS WELL
The sun is shining the birds are singing
The sky is blue and a gentle breeze wafts into my room
My soul is alive filled with joy and peace
These past two days i came to realise that its hard for people to empathise
No one can truly know the depth of your despair
Or how deep the wounds of the heart are
As my sister Dorothy told the wounds of the heart are different
To each their own but with God's help they heal
This is a post to my friends those who think that I'm not moving on
Moving on to you might mean no longer having low days
might mean dating other people as one of you put it I found a new guy for you to move on with.
I AM FINE
I am moving on in MY OWN WAY you might not understand it but i have stopped caring if anyone other than God and I understand
I no longer cry myself to sleep, true i have bad days but they last for a night
I am working, sending my post grad applications, spending alot of me time
Call me selfish but for the first time in a long while I'm putting me first
Im doing whats best for me and me alone and its working
I have always been there for people gone the extra mile, persevered in friendships
Said yes to you all even at the expense of my own happiness
I hit rock bottom and no one of you realised till it was too late
I forgive you all however i will not be pressured to do things your way
If you feel guilty that you never realised it sooner then that's fine Ive made my peace
I will no longer placate, or give long explanations for my decisions for they are mine
I have always respected your decisions even though i may not have always agreed with them.
Right now its Josephine time, time to be true to myself to my inner voice to chart my own path
This gives such overwhelming peace and joy
I am saying goodbye to some of you because despite my constant explanations you still fail to hear my plea.
IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL IT IS WELL
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Law of Attraction
Well today has been a fantastic day. Absolutely awesome
First of all, i got cool towels from a drug rep and free lunch wierd id been craving fries n galitos chicken from the oil libya down from my hospital.
Then the towels i wondered out loud i want a pair of towels for me and voila i got some.
Then i was worried the head of in patient would be angry with me yet today she greeted me with a smile and called me by name.
Lets not stop there, i got two new pens and i connected with a work colleague and the nurse aides get along well with me
It all happened as i said i surrender all
Amazing dear God thank oh n i got an hour overtime covering the gynae cinic im getting more responsibility at work.
Thank You God
People the law of attraction works i just asked and it happened awesome
Well today has been a fantastic day. Absolutely awesome
First of all, i got cool towels from a drug rep and free lunch wierd id been craving fries n galitos chicken from the oil libya down from my hospital.
Then the towels i wondered out loud i want a pair of towels for me and voila i got some.
Then i was worried the head of in patient would be angry with me yet today she greeted me with a smile and called me by name.
Lets not stop there, i got two new pens and i connected with a work colleague and the nurse aides get along well with me
It all happened as i said i surrender all
Amazing dear God thank oh n i got an hour overtime covering the gynae cinic im getting more responsibility at work.
Thank You God
People the law of attraction works i just asked and it happened awesome
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Today i cant stop crying I feel alone with only God as my refuge and strength
The world and people i thought i could rely on have failed me
I seek peace from the storms of life.
I am not insane and i realise by my refusal to accept what other people deem to be the road to recovery
Its a reflection that maybe they gave up to easily it would be easier if i was complacent
If i was bitter hated someone moved on to the next guy
Cos thats what they did however its not what is for me
One thing im learning is to chart a way for me
If i succumb to their beliefs i will be trapped in a cage of their dreams
A cage that isn't for me
A cage that destroys my inner essence
Im a bird a butterfly that's free to fly
I am free to believe
I am free to love
I am free to be
You needn't understand why i do what i do
Only God need understand
This started out as a dirge of sorts
But my indomitable spirit has reawakened
The same spirit that got me through school
The same spirit that gave me strength to become a doctor
The same spirit that enabled me to overcome rape
I am a victor
I am strong
I am a winner
To my detractors both knowing and unknowing
You are WRONG
I will triumph inspite of you
I will b victorious
I AM A FORCE OF NATURE SOGET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY
Thank You God You have healed You have forgiven me You have restored me
You have renewed me You have reconciled me
I AM AWAKE A SLEEPING GIANT NO MORE
The world and people i thought i could rely on have failed me
I seek peace from the storms of life.
I am not insane and i realise by my refusal to accept what other people deem to be the road to recovery
Its a reflection that maybe they gave up to easily it would be easier if i was complacent
If i was bitter hated someone moved on to the next guy
Cos thats what they did however its not what is for me
One thing im learning is to chart a way for me
If i succumb to their beliefs i will be trapped in a cage of their dreams
A cage that isn't for me
A cage that destroys my inner essence
Im a bird a butterfly that's free to fly
I am free to believe
I am free to love
I am free to be
You needn't understand why i do what i do
Only God need understand
This started out as a dirge of sorts
But my indomitable spirit has reawakened
The same spirit that got me through school
The same spirit that gave me strength to become a doctor
The same spirit that enabled me to overcome rape
I am a victor
I am strong
I am a winner
To my detractors both knowing and unknowing
You are WRONG
I will triumph inspite of you
I will b victorious
I AM A FORCE OF NATURE SOGET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY
Thank You God You have healed You have forgiven me You have restored me
You have renewed me You have reconciled me
I AM AWAKE A SLEEPING GIANT NO MORE
Monday, December 05, 2011
Veggie Tales
Im enjoying larry the cucumber and his silly songs and how they teach us how to face life's challenges. Im also loving Audio Adrenaline my theme song is I wanna be your hands I wanna de your feet ill go where you send me go where you send me and ill try yeah ill try to touch the world like you touched my life and ill find my way.
And also i get down You lift me up i get down You lift me up i get down You lift me up.
Im enjoying larry the cucumber and his silly songs and how they teach us how to face life's challenges. Im also loving Audio Adrenaline my theme song is I wanna be your hands I wanna de your feet ill go where you send me go where you send me and ill try yeah ill try to touch the world like you touched my life and ill find my way.
And also i get down You lift me up i get down You lift me up i get down You lift me up.
Ocean Floor
Its the last month of the year thus far the Lord has brought me Ebenezer.
Well im currently fighting off a flu and winning the battle Amen
I am also getting stronger as the days go by. Thank You God for samuel accepting my yahoo messenger request I give You the glory for that. Well today i kept remembering all the wrongs i had done and found myself wracked with guilt I forgot that God has forgiven my transgressions they are forgotten. He has placed them on the bottom of the ocean floor.
Its hard to forgive others worse still to forgive oneself yet if God the epitome of righteousness can forgive and forget and wipe our slates clean why do we hold on to guilt.
Ill liken it to an experience i had this week, I got a patient who is HIV postive yet adamant that no one should know its a state of denial and their health is detriorating despite medication afraid of the stereotype and stigma then again i met another patient unafraid to disclose their status living positively and choosing life each day.
When we let guilt consume our lives and refuse the freedom of forgiveness in our lives we effectively let our health deteriorate, however when we allow God to take our sins and trade them for forgiveness we bring health into our lives
Simple yet profound the oxymoron that life is.
So today I proudly proclaim that I am forgiven because God says so. To quote one of my favorite groups Audio adrenaline- "my sins are erased and they are no more they are down on the ocean floor. they'll never find me they are down on the ocean floor.They are forgotten they're on the bottom of the ocean floor".
Accept forgiveness live in love and practice forgiveness and grace.
On that note i forgive those who wronged me and pray for God's love to reign in their lives. Amen
Have a lovely day, its raining showers of God's blessings to all my blog followers. To my fellow colleagues solidarity today, remain firm united and strong.
To sam God's blessings in your life
Its the last month of the year thus far the Lord has brought me Ebenezer.
Well im currently fighting off a flu and winning the battle Amen
I am also getting stronger as the days go by. Thank You God for samuel accepting my yahoo messenger request I give You the glory for that. Well today i kept remembering all the wrongs i had done and found myself wracked with guilt I forgot that God has forgiven my transgressions they are forgotten. He has placed them on the bottom of the ocean floor.
Its hard to forgive others worse still to forgive oneself yet if God the epitome of righteousness can forgive and forget and wipe our slates clean why do we hold on to guilt.
Ill liken it to an experience i had this week, I got a patient who is HIV postive yet adamant that no one should know its a state of denial and their health is detriorating despite medication afraid of the stereotype and stigma then again i met another patient unafraid to disclose their status living positively and choosing life each day.
When we let guilt consume our lives and refuse the freedom of forgiveness in our lives we effectively let our health deteriorate, however when we allow God to take our sins and trade them for forgiveness we bring health into our lives
Simple yet profound the oxymoron that life is.
So today I proudly proclaim that I am forgiven because God says so. To quote one of my favorite groups Audio adrenaline- "my sins are erased and they are no more they are down on the ocean floor. they'll never find me they are down on the ocean floor.They are forgotten they're on the bottom of the ocean floor".
Accept forgiveness live in love and practice forgiveness and grace.
On that note i forgive those who wronged me and pray for God's love to reign in their lives. Amen
Have a lovely day, its raining showers of God's blessings to all my blog followers. To my fellow colleagues solidarity today, remain firm united and strong.
To sam God's blessings in your life